Managing your feelings

As fulfilling and rewarding as taking on a caring role can be, you may also experience feelings of guilt, anger and loneliness at one time or another. It’s essential that you address your feelings as best you can so that your own wellbeing is not affected.

• Keep a diary of your feelings – Keeping a track of your emotions throughout the days and weeks may help you to identify certain things that trigger particular feelings. If you know that one type of situation will make you feel a certain way, it may be easier to avoid in the future.
• Talk to people – you may find it easier to talk with friends rather than family members as they’re not as emotionally involved in the situation.
• Ask for help – if you feel other family members should be helping you more with your role then speak to them as early as possible to avoid tensions later on.
• Let things go – There may be lots of niggles and stresses throughout your day. When you step back from the situation and look at it with a clear head, it may not matter in the long run which means it may not be worth causing you additional stress.

What if I can’t carry on caring?

If your caring role begins to feel too much for you, it’s best to do something about it as soon as possible. It may help to talk to other family members first and voice your concerns with them. When alternative care for your loved one starts to be discussed it’s likely to provoke an emotional response amongst your family. Remember though that it’s important not to feel pressured into something you feel like you can’t carry on with.

You can contact your local authority to ask for them to undertake another assessment of your relative, even if they have been assessed before. Their needs may have changed or increased and the outcome of the new assessment will help to inform your decision about what to do for the best.